Blue Moon
by samrileyfan95
Summary: Its pretty much twilight but i added some characters,changed them a little and Edward and Bella are not the main characters but they are in it.bear with me its my first story.not exactly twilight but somewhat.PLEASE be understanding.Matthew becomes one of the family and its his story about being a Cullen.Suck at summaries,better than i make it o-POVs.will upload more chapts
1. Chapter 1

I woke up not knowing what had happened to me. All I knew is that I had just suffered a tremendous amount of pain. I could see everything more clearly than before.

"Are you alright?" a soft voice asked. It startled me and I reflexively crouched as if I were to attack. Two males were on her side in less than a second. The woman who asked me if I was alright was nothing but beautiful. She was average height, had caramel colored hair that went a little past her shoulders and had a small smile plastered on her face.

The boy who was standing next to her looked as if he were ready to kill me. He looked about my age, just a bit shorter than I was and a bit less muscular and had bronze hair. He didn't move at all just watched my every move carefully. It annoyed me but I think my attitude just made him even wearier.

The other was older than I was for sure but not by much. He didn't look that old but his clothing did give him an older appearance. He was blonde, tall and very familiar and obviously very protective of the woman next to him. I made a note to myself to stay away from her.

"You better," the boy snarled. I, completely caught off guard again, growled. I surprised myself with that.

"This is my son Edward. He can read minds," the blond said with a very calm voice. I stayed quiet. I didn't know these people and I didn't remember much. "I am Carlisle. This is my wife Esme." I looked at her again and she still had a small smile on her face. I felt myself relax but just a little.

I couldn't believe it. I wasn't human anymore? How could it be? They didn't know what we were but just knew that we weren't human. Carlisle and Esme explained everything that came with it; only sleeping when really tired, extreme strength, extreme speed, enhanced everything. I didn't really have anything to say at moments like this. Of course I've never been through moments like this. They explained that if we smelled blood the first couple of years after we were born we could kill someone. If we drank human blood our eyes would turn red but besides that our eyes would return to our natural color.

"So I won't be able to see my family?" I asked hoping to hear the answer I wanted.

"I'm sorry but no," Esme said softly, "it would be safer if you didn't have contact with them at all."

"What about when I'm better?"

"You're too different now. They'll get suspicious if you disappear and suddenly came back looking nothing like before and being the same age," Carlisle explained.

"How did I become this?" I asked. Carlisle looked very uncomfortable when I asked this.

"When you were in the hospital, you were being treated for broken bones. Do you remember that?" I remembered getting a seizure and after that just pain.

"Yeah," I answered getting memories little by little.

"You had a fractured skull and you were dying fast. I thought there wasn't any reason for you to die so young a-"

"So you decided to turn me into this instead of doing anything to help me?" I wasn't that mad but I was still in shock.

"I was trying to help you. I didn't think you had to die."

"Are you ok?" Esme asked.

"I don't know," I answered her.

After talking about ourselves for a couple of minutes I was less uncomfortable being with them. Edward had been changed at seventeen in Chicago which made him younger than me and that gave me a small sense of superiority. Esme was turned about two years after Edward in Ohio and apparently was the oldest of us all being 26 years old. Carlisle was 23 but had been turned about 300 hundred years ago in London. I told them about myself.

"Do you mind telling us about yourself?" Carlisle asked me. All three of them looked at me expectantly.

"I'm 19 years old; I'm from Michigan and…" I didn't know what else they wanted to know about me but it didn't matter; I couldn't remember anything. They seemed to understand so they left the subject alone.

"Let me show you your room," Esme said with an expectant smile.

"Esme we don't even know if he wants to stay," Edward said frustrated. I hadn't even thought about that. I was too caught up with me not being human anymore.

"You are free to go if you'd like but you are also very welcome to stay," Carlisle said. I didn't really have anywhere else to go so I decided to stay.

"If you don't mind my staying here," I said in a low voice.

"Of course not!" Esme exclaimed, "We'd love for you to stay with us."

I followed Esme upstairs with Carlisle on her side and Edward behind me. It was annoying to be watched by two guys who were ready to stop me if I made any false move. But at least now I understood why. I wouldn't want to hurt them if they hadn't done anything to me. Especially Esme, she's been nothing but nice to me and I cringed at the thought of hurting her. I guessed that Edward had read my thoughts since he seemed a bit less tense than before. _If I promise not to hurt anybody will you leave me alone?_ I asked him mentally. He hesitated for a second and just left. _Thanks._

Esme showed me to my new room and I was surprised. It was really big. About three times my older room.

"Do you like it?" she asked me with that smile that never seemed to fade.

"Yes, thank you," I answered.

"Of course after a while it'll be decorated however you want. After all, it's yours now."

"Welcome to the family," Esme said and went back to Carlisle who wrapped his arm around her protectively. At first I felt bad because I thought he was protecting her from me but when I thought about it, his protectiveness seemed to come as a reflex. I entered the room and just stood there. The room had a big bed which had clothes for me which I think were from Edward.

I lay down on my new bed and thought about what I was now. So about four days ago I was with my family in my room teaching my little brother how to write and now I'm told I won't be able to ever see him again. And not only him, my entire family.

I hadn't slept at all the whole night but just tried to soak in everything I had been told. Could I trust them? They seem harmless but they weren't. According to Carlisle, we are very dangerous creatures. I sighed and got up from the bed. Just when I did, somebody knocked on the door.

"Come in," I said. Esme and Carlisle came into the room.

"Good morning," Carlisle greeted.

"Morning," I said quietly.

"How do you feel?" Esme asked.

"Alright, I guess."

"Well, we just came to give you some clothes," Esme told me giving me a big box. I was amazed that the box was probably bigger than her and three times as heavier. I felt ashamed for not noticing before and helping her.

"Thank you," I said taking the box from her. Is this box empty?

Esme laughed noticing my confused look and said, "That's something else; we are about a million times stronger than the average human." I just nodded and placed the box on the floor. They looked like they were hiding something from me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Well," Carlisle started. "We were thinking about moving."

"Moving?" I repeated.

"Not now. When you are able to go out people will recognize you-"

"Yeah you told me this part yesterday," I interrupted.

"So, when you are able to go out it would be better for us to be somewhere else. Of course, if you want to stay with us."

"Is that ok?" Esme asked me looking at me carefully.

"Whatever you think is best," was all I could think of.


	2. Chapter 2

It has been ten months since I was changed and everything was almost the same since then, except for the fact that I now talk more to Edward and Esme. I only talk to Carlisle once in a while. Most of the time he is at work and when he's home he spends time with Esme. It didn't bother me at all but it was a little awkward for me to see them kiss all the time.

Edward and I were getting along fine. We fought a lot but just for fun. I was starting to see him as a brother and I think the feeling is mutual. Esme and Carlisle were growing on me but I missed my family.

I heard Esme coming home from the store. I looked out the window and I saw her car was completely full. I rolled my eyes and laughed. She always bought so many things even if she already had them.

"Do you need any help Esme?" I asked once I got downstairs.

"Not really darling. But some of those bags are for you if you want to take them back with you," she answered. Suddenly a delicious scent hit me. My throat started burning and my mouth filled with venom. "Mat-"I took off running to where the scent was. Before I realized it I was standing in front of a girl's body that was drained. I stood there looking at her in shock. _I did that. I killed a girl; a human being ._I was a little scared at how ugly the girls' body looked. Her eyes were open and kept that look of fear. A couple of seconds later Edward was at my side. He didn't say anything but he looked disappointed. He took the body and left. My guess is that he buried it somewhere far. When he came back he seemed a little calmer.

"Come on let's go," he said. I couldn't move. I was still staring at the ground where the girl had been. "Matt," Edward said louder trying to break me out of my trance, "let's go." I obeyed and followed him home.

When we arrived Esme and Carlisle came towards me with their faces full of pity as soon as they saw my face of shock. All for me and that infuriated me. I didn't need anybody feeling sorry for myself so I pushed past them and stormed to my room.

_I can't believe I killed someone and just left. I killed a person. I was a murderer. _ I kept thinking that for a while. The worst part was that I liked it. I enjoyed the taste of the blood soothing my burning throat. I tried to remember step by step what I had done but I couldn't. I just took her and bit her throat and in five seconds she was dead. I saw my reflection and saw that my irises were red. The blue was gone and the blood covered the iris of my eyes.

I don't really know how long it had been or who was home but I went running to Carlisle's office.

"Why did you do this to me? I didn't want this!" I yelled at him without control. He seemed a little surprised at my outrage but managed to keep a calm face. "Because of what you did to me a person is dead! Who gave you the right to choose for me? Why couldn't you just let me die? It sure would've been better than this. I would have been free from what I suffered as a human but now I have to live with what I am and now I will never be able to forget that I killed a person! And it's all because of you!" Carlisle just sat there and stared at me and Esme had stood behind me for, what I guessed, the whole time I was yelling.

"Matthew," Carlisle started, "I'm sorry that you feel that way. I didn't mean for you to suffer but I couldn't have just left you there to die. It felt wrong."

"It felt wrong? All I wanted was to die and you took that away from me! Or who knows? Maybe I could have gotten better but now I will never know because you took away everything from me! I'll never be able to see my family thanks to you! Now I have to live with this horrible life you have given me!" I spitted the last part out. I heard Esme shift behind me but Carlisle put his palm up saying to stay where she was. _What? He thinks I'm going to hurt her? He is the one I am mad at not at her, I would never hurt her._

"I don't know what you want me to say Matthew. I do not want to force you to live a lifestyle you don't want. This is permanent and none of us can do anything about it," Carlisle said with such a soothing, sad, understanding tone I almost felt bad for yelling. I was mad but I didn't feel like yelling anymore so I left.

"Where are you going?" Esme asked with a cracked voice.

I replied bitterly, "Anywhere but here."

"Will you be back?" she asked. I wanted to say no but when I saw how broken she looked and sounded I said, "I don't know." I didn't feel that bad for her.

_I wonder where I am_, I thought. I had been running for quite a while so I think I was maybe halfway Canada. I kept thinking about everything that has been happening to me, turning into something unknown, killing someone, now having to live with constant thirst, not being able to see my family whom I missed very much and most of all, just being alone in general. I wanted to go see my family so bad but I didn't want to risk killing them. _What do I do?_ I kept asking myself. _Should I go back or leave far away from here?_ I also kept thinking about what I had yelled at Carlisle. I didn't feel great about it but I still think he deserved it.

After maybe days of thinking of what to do I decided to go back. I didn't know where to go or what to do by myself. When I arrived Carlisle wasn't home; my guess was that he was at work. Esme was suddenly embracing me, it caught off guard so I tensed but soon hugged her back. The thought of never been able to see my family again popped into my head hurt me and made me hug Esme harder.

"I understand it's hard but we have to make an effort to adjust. We can't live in the past Matthew. We have to make sacrifices we don't want." Esme said almost crying. Even I felt like crying but didn't. "Now you have two options. And whatever you choose we will understand," she said leaving her hands on my shoulders, "this constant thirst will make you want human blood more than anything but you can do what we do; hunt animals. Of course it is your choice."

"I'll think about it," I said and left to my room.


	3. Chapter 3

After a three years and a half I was technically still a newborn. I was going to be a newborn for almost five years, maybe more. We had moved to Wisconsin to not arouse suspicion. It was hard leaving my family but I pulled through.

I didn't talk to Carlisle at all but I didn't treat him bad. I got along with Esme and Edward but I still kept my distance. I wasn't happy but had learned to control myself a little and I still talked back and was most of the time in a bad mood; though sometimes annoying Edward with anything made me feel a little better.

"You do know that is my job anyways right?" I asked him jokingly.

"I always thought it was the younger brother's job to make the older brother's life extremely impossible," Edward said with a huge smile on his face.

"We'll see about that," I replied. We were on our way home from hunting when suddenly Edward stopped dead on his tracks and groaned.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"The Denali clan is here," he said with no life to his voice.

"What is so bad about that?" I asked completely clueless.

"Tanya," he simply answered.

After a couple of minutes in the house I knew what Edward meant. Tanya was probably the most annoying person in the entire universe. She was never quiet, she never stood still and she never left me alone. She was always so close to me and it was kind of dangerous since I was still having trouble with my temper and any annoyance or threat I could really hurt someone. Others were there with her, Carmen and Eleazar, who were mates, and Irina. Irina was like Tanya except not as annoying but they could be personality twins.

Some while after, I went up to my room to rest. I normally got tired after hunting. I lay down on my bed and right about the moment I was falling asleep I heard a knock on the door.

I sat up startled and cleared my throat. "Come in," I said. I founded it a little weird that somebody knocked on my door since the three people that live here knew not to bother a newborn like me. I suppressed a groan when I saw who came into my room.

"Hey," Tanya said with a flirty voice.

"Hi," I responded with a slight smile. She came and sat on the edge of my bed.

"So…how are you adjusting?" she asked me.

"Alright," I answered with a shrug. I looked her over. She was strawberry blonde, tall, much defined features and a really great body. I did find her attractive but I wasn't interested in her. She must have seen me checking her out since she smiled slightly and slid a little closer towards me.

"That's good," she said, "sometimes many of us find it hard to adjust."

"Did you have a hard time?" I asked her.

"Not really. Sometimes it's hard to adjust because they tell you to control yourself and don't go by your instincts but I don't do that. Do you try control yourself?"

"Yeah, I don't really enjoy killing people. I have killed more than I care to think about," I cringed at that last part. It came out so naturally it sounded as if I didn't care anymore about the lives I had taken.

"Don't worry, you get used to it. The thirst I mean." I had no idea what to say to that and I didn't want to think about that so we both stayed quiet for a bit still on my bed. I looked out the window and got lost looking at almost everything in sight until I felt Tanya running her finger on the scar I had on my wrist. Without even me registering the action I pulled my hand away.

"Sorry," she said. "It's the only part that stays human and my cold skin probably felt uncomfortable." And it was. Apparently the scar you were left with after being bitten was as human as you were going to get and when she ran her finger on my scar it felt bitterly cold. Another silence.

"You look tired, I should probably let you rest," she said kissing my cheek and leaving.

Five days had passed by so slowly and Tanya was still here. Eleazar was a very interesting person to talk to. He knew pretty much everything about everything. What was really cool was that he had a gift like Edward. He could identify the gifts of other creatures like us. The only bad thing was that he hung out with Carlisle and that was the one I was trying to stay away from.

Carmen was also very smart. She shared the same interests as Eleazar but it would be weird if she didn't, after all they were mates. I also enjoyed talking to her but since I was a newborn Eleazar was being very protective of her and didn't leave her alone which meant Carlisle was also with them so I didn't spend much time with them.

And then there was Irina. She and I didn't get along very well. I don't know why but we just didn't.

"Hey Tanya do you want to go shopping?" Irina asked her.

"No thanks. I'd rather stay here and keep Matthew Company, after all, he can't go out," she answered.

"Ok well Esme and Carmen are going with me, Carlisle is working and Eleazar went hunting."

"What about Edward?" Tanya asked.

"He left," I answered.

"He left?" Tanya repeated with disbelief.

"Yeah he comes and goes," I told her.

"See ya!" Irina said and left_. Great, stuck alone all afternoon with the most annoying person in the world._ I turned on the TV and flipped the channels without paying any attention to them. It was something I did often when I had nothing else to do.

"Let's not watch TV," Tanya said in that flirty voice she always used. I turned off the TV and turned to face her.

"What do you want to do then?"

"I don't know," she said starting to play with the buttons of my shirt. "What if we have some fun?"

"Tanya, I don't-"

"Oh come on!" she said getting closer to me. "It doesn't have to be anything serious. Just fun. I have….friends that I have fun with a couple nights a week."

_Wow. What I way to seduce a guy._ I thought sarcastically. Her lips were just a few inches away from mine. I wasn't attracted to her. She was beautiful like any other of our kind but she wasn't my type. It was something I was trying to figure out. She was almost perfect and she didn't get my attention. I didn't pull away and our lips met. The kiss was pretty intense from the start. She wasn't a bad kisser but I didn't like it. She tasted like vanilla but I could tell other guys had been in that mouth not long ago. Our tongues found their way into the others mouth. I could also taste blood which sent me in frenzy. She straddled me without breaking our kiss. It didn't last long since we heard somebody come up to us.

"Um...sorry. I didn't know you were, um, busy." Irina said with a surprised look on her face, though she looked a little jealous. "I was coming back for something I didn't expect to interrupt anything." Irina was looking down at my chest. I looked down at my shirt and noticed it was unbuttoned completely. I buttoned it quickly and I heard Tanya gasp.

"What?" I asked her. She was looking at her shirt. Correction: her ripped shirt. "Sorry," I said trying to recollect the moment in which I had ripped her shirt.

She laughed. "It's fine. I'll go change." She rushed upstairs and I was left alone with Irina.

"I can't believe you are actually interested in my sister," Irina said with a disappointed face.

"I'm not," I said totally unconvincingly.

"I can tell," she said rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious."

"I know you probably won't end up as a couple like Carlisle and Esme or Carmen and Eleazar. But I do know where this is going. You won't love each other but you'll be together."

"Together?" I asked.

"You'll end up living together either you with us or her with you."

"Together?" I asked again.

"No love but lust," she finally explained.

"Oh, I'm not interested in her that way either."

"I love my sister and I hope she finds somebody but I really hope you're not into her."

"Why?"

"Because you are, or _was,_ my last hope into thinking guys aren't all the same," she explained. "That they don't only care about sex."

"I'm not interested just in sex. I'm not like that," I defended myself.

"If you're interested in my sister you better be interested in just that because that's all she's going to give you."


	4. Chapter 4

"Matthew, can I talk to you?" Carlisle asked waiting outside my room. I was in my room reading. I hadn't come out of my room in two days so he was probably going to lecture about my attitude.

"Sure," I said. He came into my room looking very smug. _What's up with him?_

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Alright I guess," I answered wearily.

"Do you think you would be ok around humans?" That question made me stand up.

"Wait; are you here to tell me that you think I'm ready to be around humans?" I asked.

"Only if you're ready," he said with a smile.

"But what if I mess up?" I asked him. I wanted to go back to society but I was a little scared.

"We all have faith in you Matthew. I also think that this might be the perfect time. You're not that thirsty anymore but if you wait any longer the blood will be more appealing."

"Ok so I go back and do what?" I asked_. What's the point of going back when there's nothing to go back to?_

"Step by step. At first maybe you can walk around, get to know the area. Of course one of us will go with you. Whoever you want," he explained. I knew he said the last part a little sad knowing that I would never ask him for anything like that but I didn't care. "And then after a while if you want, you can go to school or get a job. You're 19 so you're old enough for many things."

"When?"

"Whenever you're ready." I nodded. I was so nervous now. I had gotten used to not being around people and after a while I stopped thinking about it but now that the moment to go back was here I didn't know what to think.

"Thank you Carlisle," I said bitterly. There wasn't much to thank him for but when there was I tried to recognize it.

"You're welcome," he said with a smile and turned to leave.

"Wait!" I said. He turned to look at me. "What about my family?" he frowned at that.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to see them," he said. "It's too suspicious that you disappeared for years and then came back the sa-"

"Yeah yeah yeah. If I came back the same and all that. I remember what you told me," I said going back to my bed.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Yeah," I said picking up my book. _Should I go tomorrow? If I go who do I go with?_

I wanted to talk to Edward about it. He had gone back to society way before me and he could go out. That's how I got my books and music so I owed him a lot but I needed advice from him right now.

"You should do it," he said as soon as I stepped into the room. I stopped and stared at him. _What? Oh right reading my mind again._ He rolled his eyes.

"Right because you're really interesting," he said not taking his eyes of a giant book. I liked reading but I could never finish a book like that even if I wanted to.

"So I'm not interesting?"

"Only to Tanya," he said with an evil smile.

"So you think I should go for it?" I asked him.

"Yeah, why not?"

"I guess I should give it a try," I said looking around his room. "So when are you leaving?"

"Tonight," he said quietly.

"Have you talked to Esme and Carlisle?"

"Yeah, they don't understand."

"I wish I could get out of here."

"Then why don't you?"

"I don't want to kill humans and if I'm on my own I just might do that."

"I'm tired of living this way," he said standing up and putting the book away. "I have to do some other things so I might not see you anymore so goodbye." He said putting out his hand.

"Bye," I said shaking it. "You'll come visit right?"

"I doubt it," he said with a sad smile.

"Well, good luck," I said leaving.

When Edward left Esme and Carlisle were really sad. It was too much for me to handle. I was supposed to hate them not feel sorry for them. I was supposed to be thinking about my problems not theirs. _Who could go with me tomorrow?_ Not Carlisle, obviously, not Esme since she'll be moping around because of Edward, so either Tanya or Irina. If I go with Irina, we'll fight and if I go with Tanya she'll be all over me.

I went to the room where Irina was staying and hoped she was in a good mood.

"Hey can I ask for a favor?" I asked.

"Sure, as long as you don't need it for the next four days," she said.

"Why?"

"I'm going hunting," She explained.

"Oh," I said.

"What did you need?"

"Carlisle said I can go out now."

"That's great!" she exclaimed giving me a hug.

"I guess."

"I'm sorry I can't go without hunting but why don't you ask Tanya?" I rolled my eyes and Irina laughed. "You two haven't talked in two days. Since your kiss two days ago both of you have been acting strange. I know she likes you but do you like her?"

"No," I answered a little bit quicker than needed so Irina didn't believe me.

"You liked the kiss didn't you?"

"Yes I liked the kiss but I'm not interested in anything else happening," I told her.

"Either way she's your only option now. So better ask her soon."

"I know," I sighed, "she's going to think we are going out on a date or something."

"I wish I could stay to see that."

"I'm going to go ask her now and no you can't watch," I told her leaving.

_I hate this so much. Why couldn't Irina go with me?_ I looked for Tanya and found her talking to Esme. Just the sight of her made me feel annoyed. There was just something repelling about her. She was wearing what she always wore; clothes that left little to the imagination. Today she was wearing really short shorts, really high heels, and a loose small shirt in which you could see half her torso. She was very attractive and she was close to the definition of perfection but not exactly.

"Hey Matt," Tanya greeted me with a flirty smile.

"Hey can I talk to you?" I asked.

"I'll leave you two alone," Esme said leaving.

"What's up?" she said.

"I was wondering if you could go with me tomorrow," I started.

"Go where?" she asked.

"Apparently I can go out now," I told her.

"Oh! Of course I'll go with you!"

"Thanks," I said nervously.

"Don't be nervous. It'll be fine but we should go tonight because there are less people and it's a way to get you started."

"I hadn't thought of that," I said quietly.

"You haven't thought about our kiss either?" she asked.

"I have but I don't know what we should do about it," I told her. She stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Like I said, it doesn't have to be anything serious. We can have a little fun there's nothing wrong with that," she said running her hand through my hair. "Don't you find me attractive at all?"

"I do bu-"

"But what?" she asked a little exasperated.

"I don't know," I answered. Yes she's attractive but I wasn't interested in just sex and I had too many problems to be worrying about a 'relationship'.

"Fine," she said and kissed me.

"Hi guys!" she said with a serious face.

"Great timing," Tanya said rolling her eyes.

"Well goodbye," Irina said running into the forest.

"I'm going to go back to my room but I really appreciate you coming with me tonight," I told Tanya. She smiled and said, "You're welcome and tell me when you want to go."

"Alright."

"Don't be nervous," Tanya said trying to calm me down but it was not working. We were close to humans and I could smell them but I had self-control. "Do you want to get closer?"

"Yes," I answered. We walked closer to where there were a couple of small stores. My throat burned a little but it was manageable. We passed some girls who were sitting on a bench and they couldn't stop staring at me.

"Why do they keep staring at me?" I asked Tanya. She gave me confused look.

"Have you seen yourself? When we become this everything about us is perfected, enhanced or whatever you want to call it."

We walked for about two hours. It was great since I didn't have a very hard time being around people. It was annoying to have to stand girl staring at me as I walked by. Guys also checked out Tanya but it didn't seem to bother her, she looked proud of it. The entire time we were holding hands to pretend we were a couple. I didn't mind it much though. I think if we hadn't done that many guys would've already tried to get her to go home with them.

**It's a long story, hope you're liking it. I will post more chapters as i go. i own no characters. Leave comments, reviews, or whatever they're called. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

After two years I kept getting better at controlling my strength, my speed but not at controlling my thirst. I had many 'accidents' and each one took me down. I gave up on thinking that I could someday be with a human without wanting to kill it.

"Matthew it takes time," Esme tried to explain. "We learn from our mistakes. You think Edward and I didn't do anything like that?"

"Esme they're human beings and I killed them. I'm no different than the typical murderer," I told her not facing her.

"Don't you dare say that!" she exclaimed. It caught me off guard so I quickly turned to look at her. "Yes we may be horrible creatures but you are not like a murderer. I don't want you to ever think that way about yourself."

"I'm sorry," was all I could think to say.

"Oh sweetheart," Esme sighed sadly. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left. In the weirdest way she made me feel a little better. It didn't take away the fact that I killed people but she had faith in me.

"Maybe I should look for a job," I told Irina.

"What for?" she asked with disbelief.

"Two things: I get money so I don't have to depend on Esme and Carlisle a lot and I'm around people."

"I thought you didn't want to be around humans."

"I don't but I will have to face them sooner or later," I said a little dramatically.

"Where will you get a job?"

"I don't know. A library, any store," I said with a shrug.

"Good morning kids," Carlisle greeted.

"Good morning," both Irina and I said. "Hey Carlisle do you need any help at the hospital?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Well Matthew is thinking about getting a job and if he were there to help you maybe you could come home earlier to be with Esme," Irina answered. I gave her a dirty look and she just responded with a smile.

"If you want Matthew I could find you a job for you to do," he said.

"Don't bother," I told him coldly.

"Nonsense! Carlisle don't listen to him," Irina intervened and Carlisle left.

"Irina," I said through my teeth.

"What?" she asked looking at me fiercely.

"I don't want to be anywhere near Carlisle."

"Well too bad. I didn't mean it for you to be with him but being in a hospital will help you get over yourself," she said and left.

**Really short chapter, i know but homework keeps me busy. next couple of chapters will get better, i promise and longer. leave reviews :)**


	6. Chapter 6

A couple of months later I was already working in the same hospital as Carlisle and I loved it. I wasn't at home very often and I saw my family as little as possible. Helping in the hospital helped me keep my mind off things but there were times that my hate for my existence came back.

The Denali clan had left the day after I had started working. Apparently we were being too conspicuous so they decided to leave. Tanya had tried to persuade me to go back to Alaska with them but I politely declined. Irina was happy that I wasn't going with them. As she had said _'There is only one place to one annoying teen and that place is not with us.' _

Some college students would go in twice a week and almost all girls would flirt. I would try not to laugh when I would hear them gasp and their hearts would start beating really fast or when they would forget what they were saying.

"Matthew could you please tell them which room the patient is in?" Dr. Addams asked. He was sort of like my boss. I had gained his confidence quickly but being a bitter teenager I would sometimes talk back.

"Sure thing doc," I answered and walked the student girls to the room.

"Hey Sam, how are you feeling?" I asked. Sam was a twenty-two year old who had gotten into a car accident.

"Better. I just wish I could get out of here already," he answered eyeing the two girls that were beside me.

"Well I have to go. Call me if you need anything," I told the girls who were turning bright red when I turned to look at them. I walked to another patient's room, Michael. This guy just came to the hospital to get out of school. The doctor let him just because his father gave money to the hospital.

"What's up man?" he greeted.

"Hey still ditching school?" I asked.

"Pretty much. Who were those hotties you were walking with right now?"

"College students."

"Are you going to ask one of them out?" I just shrugged in response. "Oh come on! You can get any girl you want! They are crazy about you. Don't you like them?"

"Oh leave him alone," his girlfriend said coming in the room, "He is probably waiting for the right girl."

"Hi Leslie," I greeted her.

"Working overnight again Matt?" she asked.

"Don't really want to go home," I said.

"I'm sure one of the many girls who are here would love to take you home with them. Or maybe two," Mike said and his girlfriend slapped him playfully on the arm. Kelly, a college student, came into the room and asked if she could talk to me.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Did you write down the time the medicine was given to the patient?" she asked handing me a file.

"Shoot no. I'm sorry I guess I forgot," I apologized.

"You can get in a lot of trouble for that. I have to give this in to Dr. Addams right now."

"Do you really have to tell him it was me? After all it was just a simple small mistake," I said as I pushed back a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and gave her a smile that I had learned helped me get my way.

"I guess not," she said dazed and left. _You're getting so used to getting things your way_. I didn't care anymore. _Why should I be good if that's what I'm not supposed to be?_

"Matthew?" I heard a voice call me. I turned around and saw Jennifer standing behind me. She visited her cousin everyday but spent most of her time with me now.

"Yeah?"

"Dr. Riley wants to see you," she said.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked.

"I don't know. What have you done?" she asked batting her eyelashes.

"If I tell you will you cover for me?" I asked her playing with the bottom of her shirt.

"I might. I have covered for you before. Maybe I should stop; I get nothing in return."

"Alright what do you want?" I asked getting closer to her.

"First, what did you do?" she asked.

I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Sorry babe, it's confidential." I kissed her cheek and left. I wasn't attracted to her but for her to cover for me I had to work at it.

As I was walking to the office my throat started to burn. The blood burned my throat as it never had before. _Walk away._ I wanted to walk away but I couldn't restrain myself anymore. _I can drink the blood and make the body disappear._ I ran to where the blood was and bit the girls' neck. She screamed in pain but I couldn't stop. The taste of her blood was nothing like I had ever tasted. It was very soothing going down my throat.

"Matthew stop!" I heard and was pushed against the wall and cracking it. I saw Carlisle trying to protect the girl but I was so bloodthirsty that I ran to her again and moved him out of the way and bit her wrist. As I grabbed her arm I heard it snap. _Doesn't matter; she'll be dead soon._ Carlisle put his arms around me pinning my arms down and dragging me away from the girl. I fought him and that made me unfocused on the blood so I soon snapped out of my blood buzz. "Go home Matthew."

I stood up and held my breath. As much as I was suffering right now I managed to control myself. I got out from the room through the window and ran. I tried to get as far as much as I could from humans. I got home and when I came in I saw Esme sitting on the couch. When she saw my red eyes she frowned and came to hug me.

"It's alright darling. Tell me what happened," she said soothingly. I stood in front of her frozen. I couldn't talk or move or think. "Matthew? Are you ok? Can you hear me?" she asked worriedly.

"I-I bit her. I'm sorry," I said. I didn't even know what I was saying. I kept on rambling on. The scent hit me again. Before I ran to the body Esme stopped me and covered my nose and mouth.

"Hold your breath. I'm taking her upstairs," Carlisle said. It wasn't until I heard the girl scream that it came to me that she was still alive.

"Carlisle what are you doing?" I asked him from downstairs but I knew he would be able to hear me. When he didn't answer I ran upstairs to where he was with the girl. She was lying on the bed screaming from the pain. "You're going to let her turn into one of us? You can't do that to her!"

"Would you rather let her die?" he asked sadly.

"Yes!" I yelled.

"Honey, you don't mean that," Esme said beside me.

"Of course I do! She doesn't deserve this!"

"Matthew you know the only way for her to die is to drink her blood and we won't do it," Carlisle explained. They wouldn't do it but neither would I. _I can't be the cause of another death._

"Fine. Do what you want," I said leaving. I paced in my room. _Why did I have to do this? Why can't I have self-control? I've ruined her life now. _I heard her screaming and it scared me. I've never been around while somebody had been transformed but I remembered when I was turned. _That pain you suffered you have now inflicted upon somebody else. An innocent girl_. I felt so guilty. I felt I had to be there with her; and I was.


	7. Chapter 7

The whole 'transformation' I was in the room with her. I never left her. Part of me felt guilty about what I had done to her that I felt it was my responsibility to stay with her. The other part of me just thought I deserved to be punished by hearing her screams and seeing her pain. The pain that I inflicted upon her. I felt worse than when I killed all those people because I have just turned an innocent girl into what I hated the most. Something like me. Carlisle and Esme checked in on us every once in a while. They always told me that I didn't have to do this to myself but I didn't listen.

The first day was the worst. She was screaming nonstop and begging to make the pain go away.

"Please! Make it go away! Please!" she pleaded all day, each minute getting calmer and accepting the fact that the pain wasn't going away. I didn't do anything except listened.

A couple of hours later she suffered in silence. She was completely still but breathing a little faster than normal. Esme came in the room and sat on the couch next to me.

"She's going to hate me," I told her with my face buried in my hands.

"No she won't honey," she said trying to comfort me.

"We all hated Carlisle. You fell in love with him but I can't talk to him without fighting and look what Edward did! He left!" She didn't say anything. We just heard the girl crying in pain. I don't think any of us where in that much pain. Carlisle came in the room and tried to calm the girl but it was useless. Suddenly a thought came to me.

"Does it matter how many times she was bitten Carlisle?" I asked.

"Yes, the more times you get bitten the more venom enters the bloodstream thus more pain," he said in a sad voice. I tried to remember how many times I had bitten her but I just couldn't. All I could remember was the taste…._Stop. Don't think about that._

I turned to look at the girl in front of me. I was sitting on the couch across the room but got up and kneeled next to the bed and started apologizing to her.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

Carlisle and Esme left the room and I was alone with my guilt and the girl again. The entire time I was in the room I was thinking about what I had done. _Why did she have to be in that room? If she hadn't been there none of this would have happened. Now because of her she was what she was._ Hatred consumed me. I hated her for being there. I hated her because I took her life. That's all I could think about, my new hate for her.

"She'll wake up soon," Carlisle said suddenly. I worried at that. _When she wakes up what will happen? Will she hate me?_ I already hated her so I guess it didn't matter.

Three minutes later she opened her eyes. She sat up slowly and looked at all of us. She looked a bit scared. Her eyes scanning us and everything around her.

Carlisle cleared his throat and the girl, startled, got up from the bed and stepped away from us.

"Hi. I'm Carlisle I don't know if you remember me I was your doctor, this is my wife, Esme and our son Matthew," he pointed at each of us as he named us. "You're Veronica?" he asked her gently.

"Yes," she answered in the most angelical voice I had ever heard. Even for one of our kind it was very soft and sweet. She was very beautiful. She had light brown hair that almost reached her waist. It was a very wavy and fell on her back and on top of her shoulders. She had very delicate features. Her body was perfect. She had the kind of body that any guy would have a hard time not looking at it. Her eyes were probably the best of her beside her voice. They were dark green and perfect. She was perfect but because she was a monster like us now. I noticed her looking at me but I quickly averted my gaze.

"Veronica, would you mind talking to me in private?" Carlisle asked her.

She didn't look sure until he quickly added, "Esme will stay with us." She thought about it quickly and then nodded.

I cleared my throat and said, "I'll be outside." as I left the room.

I waited until Esme and Carlisle were done explaining what she was. What I had done to her. That thought made me angry. She was going to hate me. I took her life just because I didn't know how to control myself.

Ten minutes after, the three of them came out.

"Veronica would you like to stay with us?" Esme asked.

Veronica didn't say anything, just nodded. Esme grinned and showed Veronica her new room. Her new life and family.

The house was big enough for a family of eight so of course they had no room problem. When they left it was just Carlisle and me.

"I want to talk to you about Veronica," he said calmly.

I rolled my eyes. "Carlisle I'm not going to hurt her and don't worry about me being rude to her since I have no plans to even talk to her." I said never looking at him.

"That's exactly my point. I don't want you to be rude but I do at least want you to try to have some kind of relationship. After all, she is part of the family now. I want you to be nice and help her adjust."

Just as I had opened my mouth to speak he out his hand up and said, "Please at least try."

"Fine," I sighed. "But I don't make any promises."

"Thank you."

I went up to my room and threw myself on the bed. After all that happened I was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep. _How am I supposed to have a 'relationship' with someone I hated? Doesn't matter I suppose since after getting to know this life and me she won't want to have any kind of relationship with me._


End file.
